Ray and Anita – New York, New York
Ray and Anita – New York, New York My name is Ray, and my wife’s name is Anita. We’ve been married for 18 years. We have one child, a beautiful daughter. I was married before and had two children from my previous marriage. I grew up Catholic and had no relationship with God. I worked as a correction officer and then a police officer for the state of New York, which exposed me to violence and trauma. I became desensitized and hard-hearted. My relationship with Anita started off strong. She was loving, nurturing, and spiritual. I had never met a woman like her. I loved her deeply but didn’t know how to show it. I brought unresolved issues from my previous marriage into our home. I did not understand how to be a godly husband. I was emotionally detached and often harsh. Over the years, this took a toll on Anita’s spirit and heart. She tried so hard to get me to soften, to understand how my tone, reactions, and lack of empathy affected her. But I didn’t listen. In 2018, she had enough. She left our home with our daughter and said she needed space. I was angry, bitter, and confused. I felt betrayed and rejected. I tried to reason with her, but nothing worked. She was silent for months. I thought it was over. I told myself I didn’t care, but deep down, I was broken. I began to pray, not even knowing who I was praying to. I cried out, “God, if You’re real, help me!” That was the beginning of my journey with Jesus. I surrendered my life to Christ in 2019. The Lord began to show me all the ways I had hurt my wife and hardened my heart. I cried and repented daily. God told me to stand for my marriage even though Anita filed for divorce. It made no sense in the natural. She was gone. She wanted nothing to do with me. But I knew I heard God say, “Stand.” So I did. A friend sent me a link to Jason Carver’s ministry. When I found Standing Supernaturally, it felt like a lifeline. I joined the Facebook group, went through the 5-Day Challenge, and then joined the Academy. It gave me hope, direction, and faith. I learned how to fight in the spirit and not in the flesh. I prayed for Anita every day, even when I didn’t hear from her. I anointed her clothes, prayed over her pictures, and made declarations. I listened to worship music and fasted. I even took communion on her behalf. One day, Anita texted me. She said she couldn’t explain it, but she felt a shift in her heart. She started talking again. Slowly, things thawed. Conversations became phone calls, and phone calls turned into visits. I didn’t push or pressure her. I let the Lord lead. She saw the change in me — not just words, but fruit. I gave her space. I honored her boundaries. I showed up for our daughter. Eventually, Anita asked if we could go to counseling. I was stunned and grateful. That was the beginning of our restoration. In 2022, Anita came home. In 2023, we renewed our vows in front of our daughter and church family. God resurrected our marriage from the ashes. I learned that restoration isn’t about convincing your spouse to come back — it’s about becoming the person God called you to be and letting Him do the rest. To every stander out there: Don’t quit. Even when it looks hopeless, God is moving. Your prayers are powerful. Your tears are seen. Your obedience is not in vain. Stand on God’s Word, not your emotions. Let Him fight for you. Restoration is coming — in God’s time and in God’s way.
