Christine & Jason (Christine's Version!)
Christine and Jason – Waco, Texas I’m Christine Carver, wife of Jason and cofounder of Standing Supernaturally for Marriage Restoration. Jason and I are so excited that you are reading our devotional! It’s our prayer that we can help anyone who is standing for their marriage restoration. The 39 other testimonies in this book are from the viewpoint of the person standing, but I want to tell you my story to encourage you to live expectantly and full of hope, even if you’re separated or divorced. As a young woman, I prayed to God that I would have a unique and entertaining love story. God has delivered on that request in unanticipated ways! My romance with Jason carries twists and turns, drama, and comedy. However, leaving my marriage caught me by surprise, and I still reflect on the events and reasons behind it, as well as the subsequent reconciliation and remarriage to my honey. Jason and I were married in 2003, in our mid to late twenties. I appreciated his outgoing personality, sense of humor, and love of ministry. His beliefs and actions showcased confidence and strength, and his conclusions about life and how to be a “good Christian” were something I held in high regard. Having someone smart, funny, and secure was great, but sometimes this made me feel “less than.” I struggled with insecurities and wanted to feel powerful again. I missed my independence and started to resent Jason’s strength of conviction when it contradicted with mine. Our communication preferences negatively affected our relationship, maybe because our families handled conflict very differently. Jason’s dad was loving and loud, and my dad was loving and softer-spoken. We mirrored what we knew and didn’t understand the other. Jason was assertive. I was more passive. In my sensitivity, I felt deeply wounded. After about 12 years, I suddenly moved out with our girls, not telling Jason anything. Assisted by friends, family, and community facilities, I started building a life as a single woman, giving the best I knew to my daughters and myself. Encouraged by a new counselor to file for divorce, I did, even though I felt odd, and hadn’t considered it. To reassure me, however, a pastor friend told me I would just be the one officially filing and signing the divorce papers since Jason had “already divorced me” in his mind by not keeping his marriage vows when he didn’t love me as Christ loved the church. Some use that argument as a reason for a legal divorce. I’d never heard of that before and actually felt like I was living in an alternate universe for a while. I started making some really poor decisions, and as I look back on this season of my life, I truly can’t believe some of my choices. My divorce from Jason was eventually granted, even though he was against it and did not want it to happen. While I was away from Jason, I still really loved the Lord and prayed and read my Bible regularly. Only God soothed my soul, and I clung to my Heavenly Father desperately. However, leaving Jason and my church family left me vulnerable to deception. But God didn’t leave me wandering forever! The Lord brought individuals into my life who spoke biblical truths, allowing me to recognize my own misguided thinking. I thought I had already done everything feasible to make things right with Jason and that nothing would ever change. But I was wrong! God was changing us behind the scenes, unbeknownst to each other. Jason refused to give up on our marriage or me and often told me so. I tried to move on but somehow still felt “attached” to Jason. I believe that because he never let me go in the spirit, there was a connection/soul tie I could not break even though I wanted to and had desperately tried. I hadn’t expected that. One sunny Sunday in October, with no forethought or plans to do so, I suddenly moved home! Jason and I were actually arguing in the front driveway of the house (at this point, the home was in his name, and the girls were primarily staying with him). Jason then broke down all my defenses when he said, “Your boyfriend is going to break your heart, and when he does, I’ll be right here waiting for you.” I started crying because I expected him to say something like, “Don’t come running to me!” But his humble acceptance of me, at my worst, touched my heart, and my soul began wanting the love he was still offering. Jason and I went inside, and God immediately opened my eyes to some of the deceptions the enemy was throwing at me! I then asked to move home only because I wanted to live with our daughters. It was so painful living away from them. But within hours, I found myself falling back in love with Jason. We had both changed significantly, and God gifted us a greater ability to understand and have compassion for each other. Within four short days, we were in Las Vegas getting remarried! Our restoration was truly sudden and without notice. I even had a boyfriend the morning I came home to Jason. So, I want you to know that God very quickly changed my heart and our situation. I stand in awe of God’s goodness and faithfulness to our family, and I know God can do the same for you and your spouse! We are so glad you are reading this and we believe strongly that our story can be your story. Be supernaturally encouraged as you read this devotional, and never forget, keep Standing Supernaturally — we are right here with you!
